Living loses are defined as loss we experience, that is not associated to death. For example:

• Divorce or separation from a spouse..

• Termination of a long term friendship or estranged relationship with your child or sibling.

• Loss of employment

• Deteriorating mental state or physical capacity to stand/walk without assistance.

• Relocating away from loved ones or being unhoused.

Grief as a response to death is easily acknowledged and supported within todays society. But what about someone’s non-death related loses like being, separated/divorced from a spouse or extreme family conflicts that leave relationship estranged. The death and physical absence of a loved one is just as hurtful as the emotional absence of a loved one who is still physically present. Often times we mislabel our pain as “stress” or “anger” but in reality, we are grieving. It’s hard to connect these events as grief b/c they’re so disenfranchised. These type of loses have limited social recognition, however are very real and life shattering. Take a moment to recognize within yourself your “living loses”. How have you processed your grief?

Helpful Reading: Soul Broken

The stages of grief are heavy and do not occur in a linear process. Feeling stuck or dysregulated with emotions are common discomforts. Allowing ourselves to feel and experience those deep emotions can lead to healthy grieving. 

Focus on continuing your bond with your loved one. What do you want to carry with you? What do you need to let go of?

Write a letter to your loved one to help process your feelings of anger and guilt . What regrets are you carrying? What has been left unsaid that can be submitted in your letter?

Locate a keepsake that reminds you of your loved one. An item that helps you feel close to them. As needed, carry this keepsake with you or find a place in your home to store it.

Stay connected with family and friends in activities you enjoyed prior to the loss. 

​Helpful Readings: Grief Day By Day

Alleviating symptoms of depression and returning to a healthy level of functioning is a process. Working collaboratively with loved ones, a peer support group or therapist can promote developing positive coping strategies, improve your mood and decrease your symptoms. Follow some of these practical steps & begin the restorative work.

Challenge ruminating negative thinking patterns with strength-based statements of self and accomplishments.

Stay in touch. Make an effort to sustain social activities with those who make you feel loved, valued and supported.

Find practical coping strategies to implement when triggered with depressive symptoms (i.e. take a long walk, exercise, music etc).

Its ok to not be ok. If feelings intensify, express feelings associated with depression with a professional.

Helpful Readings: ​ Hardwiring Happiness

Sometime anxiety can be useful. When anxious about an upcoming exam or test, anxiety can move you to study and stay sharp around the material. Other times anxiety can be too intense and have long term effects.

Grounding techniques can be simple steps to reducing anxious feelings and tenson. Focus on your breathing. Inhaling and exhaling deeply from your diaphragm. With each breath say to self “I’ am centered”. “I am whole”.

Labeling thoughts are helpful techniques in managing worrisome feelings. Begin labeling uncomfortable thoughts, specifically those that are accompanied with fear and worry. Label your thoughts, as “pleasant”, “negative” “fearful” etc. With identified thoughts, create an action plan for each. Sink into pleasant thoughts and allow yourself to feel safe. To feel whole. Challenge negative thoughts with affirming statements. Interrupt fearful thoughts with reality based/ strength based statements.

Helpful Readings: Unwinding Anxiety